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Writer's pictureLouise Howard

Understanding Over-Giving: How to Identify It and Set Healthy Boundaries



Do you often find yourself putting others' needs before your own, even to the point of neglecting your well-being? Are you constantly giving, but rarely receiving? If so, you might be struggling with over-giving—a common challenge that can lead to burnout, resentment, and imbalance in your life. In this blog post, we'll explore how to identify over-giving and provide practical strategies for setting healthy boundaries to reclaim your time, energy, and autonomy.


Identifying Over-Giving:

Over-giving can manifest in various ways, and it's essential to recognise the signs to address it effectively. Here are some common indicators that you might be over-giving:


  1. Constantly Saying Yes: You have difficulty saying no to requests or obligations, even when it's not in your best interest.

  2. Ignoring Your Needs: You prioritize others' needs over your own, often neglecting self-care, rest, or personal time.

  3. Feeling Resentful: You experience feelings of resentment or exhaustion due to constantly giving without receiving adequate support or acknowledgment.

  4. Seeking Validation: Your self-worth is tied to how much you do for others, leading to a cycle of seeking validation through over-giving.

  5. Ignoring Boundaries: You have a tendency to ignore or disregard personal boundaries, either your own or others', in pursuit of meeting others' needs.


Setting Healthy Boundaries:


Setting boundaries is crucial for maintaining balance and protecting your well-being. Here are some strategies to help you establish and maintain healthy boundaries:


  1. Know Your Limits: Take time to identify your needs, priorities, and limits. Recognise that it's okay to prioritise yourself and set boundaries to protect your time and energy.

  2. Practice Saying No: Learn to say no assertively and without guilt when a request or commitment doesn't align with your priorities or values. Remember that saying no to others often means saying yes to yourself.

  3. Communicate Clearly: Express your boundaries and needs clearly and directly to others. Use "I" statements to assert your boundaries without placing blame or making others feel guilty.

  4. Start Small: Begin by setting small boundaries and gradually expand them as you become more comfortable asserting your needs. Celebrate each boundary you successfully establish as a step toward reclaiming your autonomy.

  5. Prioritise Self-Care: Make self-care a non-negotiable part of your routine. Schedule regular time for activities that recharge and replenish you, whether it's exercise, meditation, hobbies, or simply relaxing.

  6. Seek Support: Surround yourself with supportive individuals who respect your boundaries and encourage your self-care efforts. Seek guidance from friends, family, or a therapist if you're struggling to set or maintain boundaries effectively.

Over-giving can erode your well-being and prevent you from living authentically and joyfully. By recognising the signs of over-giving and implementing strategies to set healthy boundaries, you can reclaim your time, energy, and autonomy. Remember that prioritising your needs is not selfish but essential for maintaining balance and fulfilment in your life. I call is being self-full. Take the first step today toward establishing boundaries that honour your well-being and empower you to live authentically.

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