Letting Go to Move Forward: Reframing Fear and Embracing Change

Have you ever faced a decision that felt impossible? You know what you want, but something inside keeps you stuck—fear, guilt, or a sense of obligation. Maybe you’re worried about letting someone down, making the wrong choice, or stepping into the unknown.

This is exactly what happened to one of my clients. She wanted to leave a part-time job but felt trapped. She believed that by leaving, she would be burdening her employer. The thought of having that conversation filled her with dread. But when we reframed the situation, everything changed.

The Power of Reframing

Often, we make up stories about what will happen before we even take action. Our minds are wired to anticipate the worst, even when the reality may be completely different. Reframing allows us to shift our perspective, looking at a situation from a different angle—one that feels empowering rather than restrictive.

When my client and I explored the situation, I asked her:

• What if your leaving is actually a good thing for your employer?

• What if this opens up space for someone who truly wants this role?

• What if this is an opportunity for growth—for both of you?

She suddenly saw things differently. Instead of feeling guilty, she realised she could have an open and honest conversation. And when she did, her employer was understanding and supportive. She was even able to reduce her working days, creating a win-win situation.

Breaking Free from Old Patterns

Many of us, especially Generators in Human Design, are deeply conditioned to act out of duty and obligation. We’re taught to prioritise what others need over what we truly desire. But when we keep saying yes to things that no longer align, we drain our energy and block opportunities that are actually meant for us.

The things we need to let go of in pursuit of our dreams are often big and scary—like leaving a job, moving to a new city, or even walking away from a business that no longer aligns.

I remember years ago when I wanted to leave my corporate job to start my own business. I knew I wanted out, but I wasn’t really doing anything about it. Then, in a coaching session, my coach asked about my plans. I told him I wanted to leave my job and find a part-time role to support myself while growing my business. His next question stopped me in my tracks: “Have you been looking for a part-time job?” My answer? No. I was stuck in fear with a million 'what if's' going round in my head.

He then sent me this quote:

"Man cannot discover new oceans unless he has the courage to lose sight of the shore."

In that moment, I realised—I had been talking about what I wanted but taking no action. With one simple question, he made me see that if I truly wanted change, I had to start moving toward it  

Reframing helps us break these old patterns and step into choices that serve our highest good. Here’s how you can start reframing a difficult situation:

1. Identify the Fear – What’s the worst-case scenario your mind is creating? Often we have a 'worst case scenario' story on repeat, which is not always helpful. Recognising that you are telling yourself this story is a great step, awareness is powerful. Once you recognise the story that you are telling yourself you can start to flip the perspective.

2. Flip the Perspective – Ask yourself: What if this situation is actually happening for me, not against me? What other outcomes can I envisage? Is there a positive take on the situation?

   Often we come up with the worst case scenario and go straight to fear - the ego's perspective. The mind goes into overdrive and we create wildly negative stories. What is you took a moment to get out of your head and into your heart? Take a few moments to breathe, quieten the mind and get into the heart space, then ask yourself some of the above questions to help you flip the perspective.

   Write out the best-case scenario—this or something even better—and keep coming back to it. Read it, visualise it, and truly feel it as if it’s already happening.

3. Consider the Bigger Picture – Could this change benefit not just you, but others as well? Ask yourself how can this change be better for all concerned?

4. Take Inspired Action – With your new perspective, have the conversation, make the decision, and trust the outcome.

For me, it happened when I finally reached my breaking point and handed in my notice—without another job lined up. That same week, without even searching, I was offered a part-time job in a café. I took a leap of faith, and the universe met me halfway!

You Are Not Stuck

No matter what you’re facing, you always have the power to shift your mindset. The situation may not change overnight, but your relationship to it can. And when you step into a new perspective, you’ll be surprised at how easily things start to flow.

So, what situation in your life needs a reframe? What story can you rewrite today?